Hunting Widow

Once again, it's that time of the year...  HUNTING SEASON. 

Duck season, deer season, dove season, turkey season, quail season, pheasant season, goose season.  There's always something to kill.  Last weekend was opening weekend of duck season, and this weekend is the opening of DEER season. 

I don't think anyone would be surprised to learn that I'm not a huge fan of hunting.  Especially deer hunting.  But deer season is huge around here.  It's basically a holiday - I'm surprised schools and banks don't close.  I grew up in a small town where Hunter's Safety courses were mandatory in 4th grade and it was ok to have your rifles in the cab of your pickup truck on school property.  People from my hometown wear camo and orange year round like a badge of honor.  I've seen more dead deer than I can even count.  I know how to call a turkey, mask your scent, install a salt lick, set up decoys, camouflage a deer stand, knock antlers together, etc.  Everyone in my family hunts, from my grandpa all the way down to the kids.  I get it - I just don't like it.  

I know, I know...I've heard all the arguments for hunting.  Every single one of them.  I know they're overpopulated and there are way too many deer.  I know they can feed the hungry.  (I know they're kinda delicious.)  I know they get hit by cars and cause injuries and can spread disease.   I know they destroy fields and crops and gardens.  I know, I really do!  But it still breaks my heart! 

When I met Ryan, he was a nice preppy city boy that liked fishing, was strictly catch and release and wouldn't harm a fly (for real, he'd trap it and take it outside).  But then he met my family.  And went to "Deer Camp" back in my hometown.  And it was over.  Now he's a ruthless killer.  He lives for blood.  Now he's the one giving me all the arguments for why deer hunting is "necessary."  And maybe it's unfair to blame my family entirely for this transformation...but I'm doing it anyway.  Do you hear me Christopher?!

I think the difference is somewhere in our perception of deer.  When Ryan thinks of a deer, he sees this:

and this...

When I think of a deer, I see this:

and this...

And of course, deer are stupid, so they're making it easy for the guys.  The deer around here really need to get their act together if they're going to make it through til next year.  Come on guys!

So this weekend, while Ryan's out slaying poor innocent animals, I'm a hunting widow - abandoned by my husband for the thrill of killing, the camaraderie of other killers and lots of beer. 

Normally, I'm my husband's biggest fan...

But this year, I'm rooting for the deer.

(source)

( I like this version of deer camp! )

So, for all you hunting widows out there, I just want you to know that I feel your pain, your loneliness, your isolation.  I hope you all have weekend plans that involve friends, shopping, wine and watching all the great shows that your husbands refuse to watch with you (hello Gossip Girl). 

(source)

And I hope your husbands have miserable opening weekends, come home empty-handed and no one kills anything worthy of stuffing and mounting. 

(source)

In loving memory...

Any other hunting widows out there? 

Want to come over and have margaritas with me?