Scarborough Renaissance Festival - Dallas

I'm not sure if words can even possibly begin to describe the awesomeness that

was the Scarborough Renaissance Festival in Waxahachie, Texas. 

This was my very first Renaissance Fair and I really had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Ally and I figured it could be fun...and even if it sucked, there'd be good people watching.

Understatement of the century.

While standing in line to get our tickets, we were approached by some type of Fishmonger woman, who really did smell like fish.  She inducted us into the Vanity Club -- you know, cause "we're so vain." This should have been a warning sign.

Upon walking through the gates (aka castle walls),

the very first person to greet us upon entering was this guy. 

I almost turned around and high-tailed it back to the car, but he grabbed me and posed for a picture.

I think he also might have grabbed my ass while he was at it.

Love him.

At first, it was completely overwhelming. 

Ally and I both went into sensory overload and just stood in the middle of the road,

mouth gaping open, bald-faced staring at people. 

Where in the hell were we and what had we just gotten ourselves into?
(Did we take some kind of wrong turn and end up in Middle Earth, because that girl's got pointy ears?)

Well, let me tell you...

According to the website, the Scarborough Renaissance Festival is a Renaissance-themed

festival based on the year 1533, during the reign of England’s King Henry VIII.  

It is a 35 acre 'village' (larger than most area shopping malls) within a 167 acre site. 

The festival employs more than 2,000 performers, artisans, food service people,

grounds crew, and retail staff during the course of a season. 

Annual attendance is 200,000 people!

The Scarborough Renaissance Festival is a permanent location with  21 stages,

which hosts over 200 performances daily.  

150 primarily volunteer members of the Scarborough Academy of Performing Arts

make up the performing company that become the "characters" of Scarborough

including King Henry VIII and Queen Anne Boleyn.

Three full combat jousts take place each day (jousting arena below).

Over 200 permanent "shoppes" feature unique handmade wares made by

artisans from around the country.  The Scarborough Renaissance Festival is one of the

largest outdoor "juried" craft shows in the country.

At the stores, you can get things like chainmail, leather goods, potion books,

wizard wands, fairy wings, bustiers, feathered hats, pantaloons, swords, shields,

beer steins, jewelry, candles and armour.

Ally and I opted for the most feminine items we could find.

No armor or sorcerer's wands for these girly-girls.

Although we did get told that we must be pirates because we were both carrying Canons.

Har har har har. :)

Each day, artisans demonstrate ancient arts such as glassblowing, blacksmithing, candlemaking, printing on a Guttenberg Press, leather crafting, broomaking, armor making, coin minting, etc.

But there was really only one thing we were interested in seeing....

Falconry.

(I'm serious.  Have you seen "The Falconer" on SNL.  That is some good stuff.)

The Scarborough Festival has daily falconry demonstrations conducted by John Karger of Last Chance Forever Wildlife Conservatory.  I die.

However, it wasn't quite like the SNL skit. 

Slightly disappointing.

So we moved on.

We toured a castle.

We got our palms read, which was awesome (and SO accurate it was scary).

We watched some sword-fighting.

We followed the music into a pavilion and accidentally crashed a wedding. 

Oops!

We danced with a Wood Sprite.

We watched the Scotsmen prepare for battle.

We met a knight in shining armor; he was very shy.

I got arrested.

We were almost attacked by a dragon.  Or possibly a time machine.

We found the lamas and the horses...

...the elephants and the camels. 

Although after a slightly-disturbing conversation we had with Ally's husband

that morning involving the deliciousness of camels, I can't say I'll ever look at them the same.

And speaking of food...

The Scarborough Festival has five food court areas, each offering a completely different menu selection.  Non-traditional foods include hand made pastas, seafood, stir fry, steak-on-a-stick,

Scott's eggs, Italian Ice, etouffee, empanadas, fajitas, meatball sandwiches, baklava,

quiche, pastries, and more than 60 other hearty foods.

(You know you're in Texas when even the Renaissance Festival serves Mexican.)

But we already knew what we wanted.

GIANT TURKEY LEGS!

More than 20 tons of the festival’s famous Giant Turkey Legs

 are devoured annually during the eight-weekend season.

I'll admit it right now, hands-down the absolute best Giant Turkey Leg I've ever had.

But even better than the food, better than the stores, better than the camels, were the PEOPLE. 

It was the best people watching I've ever done in my whole life. 

I just couldn't get over the costumes, the characters, the accents and language. 

Everyone spoke Old English. 

Everyone was drinking mead. 

Everyone was friendly.

No one ever broke character.

And most importantly, no one gave a shit that people were talking about them,

watching them and taking their pictures.

There was not a self-conscious soul in the whole place.

It was pretty awesome.

Everyone was happy,

everyone was having fun,

everyone felt like they fit in...

...well, other than me and Ally.
(I bet her $500 that she was the only person there in pearls and Burberry.)

Although, we tried!!

We definitely made lots of friends.

It was a VERY memorable day.

Thank you Ally for forcing me out of my comfort zone and taking me back in time.

Next year, you can be the Wood Sprite and I'll be the Fishmonger.