Baby Mac - 1 Month

Dear Mac,

I can't believe you're already a month old.  Sometimes I'm amazed that it's already been four weeks since you arrived and other times I'm amazed that it's only been four weeks.  You're such a wonderful addition to our little family.  These four weeks have been the most challenging and incredible weeks of my life.  Despite all the reading and research I did before you got here, nothing prepared me for being a new mom and the emotions that come along with it.  I've never loved anything so much and I'm constantly shocked at how intense that love can be - it's buried deep within my soul and grows exponentially stronger by the minute.  It's such a consuming love that it overwhelms me sometimes and I find myself in tears wondering how I'll ever be able to keep you safe your whole life.  I definitely see how mothers can pick up cars for their children...I think I could move a semi-truck for you if I needed to.  

I know I'm totally biased, but you are the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.  You have deep bright wise eyes that I can get lost in.  Right now they're still a dark grey and we have no idea whether they'll turn blue (like mine) or brown (like your dad's).  You have the softest lips and the cutest little nose, which I used to think was mine, but now looks like your dad's.  You have giant hands that we call mitts (all the better to play baseball with), long skinny legs and huge feet with monkey toes (all the better to swing from trees with).  Your dad thinks you'll be a great swimmer with those paddles on your feet!  Your umbilical cord fell off after about three weeks and now you have the most adorable little belly button.  You have a little birthmark on your butt that we love.  Everything about you is perfection.

You're already such a wonderful little person.  Your personality is just starting to show and you are funny and happy.  You make the best little squeaking noises and squeals when you're happy and the funniest faces and grunts when you're not.  You have a great O-face when you're trying to poop that cracks me up.  You love tummy time and you love hanging out on your changing table.  You just kick away and talk to me.  You get the hiccups daily and you hate them.  You sneeze all the time and I pray  that you're not allergic to cats or dogs - surely not, as you're constantly covered in dog hair, like everything else in our house.  You're a good sleeper, as long as you're sleeping on me or your dad, which most of the time is fine with us.  We can't get enough of you and I have the hardest time putting you down (you're in my arms right now).  I spend hours just holding you, cuddling you and staring at you.  You and I pass our days in a warm spot on the couch, just being close to each other.  I have a crazy desire to memorize every inch of you and I never want to forget every second of our time together.  I can't seem to get anything done because I'm too busy just absorbing you.  You get about six thousand kisses a day, which is never enough.  

Your only issue right now is your insatiable hunger.  You're just like your daddy in that you want to eat a lot and you eat FAST.  When you're hungry, you can't get food into your belly fast enough and you end up gagging and choking and sucking in a lot of air in your attempt to eat as quickly as humanly possible.  Sometimes you forget to breathe when you're eating and then panic to get air, which leads to a freak-out by both you and us.  We joke that you already have a drinking problem.  We remedy the situation by trying to feed you while you're still mostly asleep, which works much better.  And despite the issue, you're getting plenty to eat and are already up to almost 11 pounds!  You're finally getting some chubby cheeks and a few little rolls on your thighs.  The other day I swore you had a double chin...I absolutely love it!  

Of course, this first month of your life was filled with so many "firsts" that it's been hard to keep up with them all.  Your first car ride, your first bath, your first walk around the neighborhood, your first trip to the farm.  You're going to have so many "firsts" over the next few years and I'm so excited and honored to get to experience them with you.  Each one has made me proud and yet also a little sad that you're already growing up so quickly.  I'm trying to document everything and my camera is quickly filling up with thousands of pictures that I probably won't have a chance to go through until you're in college.  I don't know how other mamas manage to take (and process) so many photos of their kiddos and write full daily blog posts to go with them.  I'm lucky if I can get one post done every couple weeks!  I typed this one with one finger on the iPad while holding you, and it's already a week overdue.  Hopefully I'll get better.  

You are more than I could have ever imagined. little man.  I spent so many days and nights praying for you and dreaming of you, it's just the most wonderful thing ever that you're finally here in my arms, sqirming and squeaking.  I'm so proud to be your mama.  Thank you for being my baby.

Love,

Mama