Baby Mac - 4 Months

Dear Mac-a-doodle-doo,

This has been a month of non-stop action around our house.  I've been back to work for a month now and I'm finally feeling like my old self again.  I miss you terribly during the day and it's still hard to be away from you, but I don't cry all day any more and I'm enjoying getting some work done (and getting a paycheck!).  It's a lot easier for me to leave in the morning knowing that you love your nanny as much as we do and you guys have so much fun during the day.  She's been taking you to playdates, on walks, out to lunch (sometimes with me) and to the park.  If I'm missing you too terribly bad, she'll bring you to work to see me or I will sneak home for a few snuggles on my lunch break.

On Wednesdays she brings you to me at Kindermusik and we get to sing and dance around together.  It's such a wonderful break in my day and I get back to the office feeling recharged by all the baby snuggles I get.  I feel totally hokey dancing around singing about choo choo trains, but I guess that's part of being a parent.  You still don't know what to think about Kindermusik - you can go from smiling and loving it to indifference to meltdown crying within a matter of minutes sometimes.  But for the most part, you seem to like it (or at least tolerate it) and you love looking around at all the other babies and the bouncing around.  However, the music is pretty lame compared to what daddy plays you on the guitar at home.  Now that music, you LOVE!  When Ryan plays the guitar for you, it's the best thing in the world.  Your face lights up and you kick like crazy!  You sing along with the music and jabber away like you know all the words.  

You've also turned into a moving and rolling machine.  You can roll from your tummy to your back and from your back to your tummy with ease these days.  There's no stopping you!  And when you're on your tummy, you lift your head completely up and move your legs like you're crawling.  Crawling!  Stop!  You're a baby, and I'm not ready!  You are going to be mobile before we know it.  You also love standing and act like the king of the world when you're looking around on both feet.  You're pretty close to sitting up by yourself these days too.  That whole laying on the ground thing is for babies.  You would much rather be sitting or standing or moving around.  If you're awake, you're moving!

Also, this has been the month of your mouth.  Everything goes in your mouth.  You chew and slobber on everything you can get your hands on...including your hands.  Your spit-up has been replaced by crazy amounts of drool which means we're soaked all the time.  Sometimes you go through 4-5 outfits a day because they're soaking wet around the collar.  You love chewing on Sophie the giraffe and those frozen teething rings, too.  But I think your favorite thing to chew on is one of my fingers.  You can gnaw on a finger forever. If my fingers aren't available, yours work just fine too.  Sometimes you get your whole hand in your mouth and then gag yourself.  You're still learning.

And speaking of your mouth, you never shut up!  Your favorite thing in the world is to talk, talk and talk.  You squeal and scream and babble like crazy.  You're constantly blowing raspberries and bubbles and talking up a storm.  You're still learning what sounds you can make and you experiment with them all, from soft little coos to full on high-pitch squeals.  It's the greatest thing ever.  You love carrying on conversations and you really do sound like you're talking when we ask you questions.  You're such a jabberbox.  Your dad and I are in for it when you really start talking and asking questions.  We're never going to be able to get a word in!

As for sleep, you've definitely regressed in this area.  You used to be able to make it 7-8 hours without a bottle and these days we're lucky if we can get you to go 5 hours.  You're up at least twice a night eating.  And you're rolling over at night so we can't swaddle you anymore.  We've had to leave both your arms out for the last few weeks and you're just starting to get used to it.  For a while you'd lay on your back and your arms would flail and wake up right back up.  But now, you immediately roll onto your tummy and pass out.  Sometimes you try to roll yourself over but get stuck on the side of the crib and get so pissed!  Letting you sleep on your tummy scared me to death for the first few nights and I'd go in your room and roll you back over at least 35 times a night.  But alas, you're growing up and I have to let you.  You're not a tiny swaddled baby anymore and I have to be okay with that.

And that seems to be the theme of my life this month: growing up and moving on.  One part of me is so excited for you to grow up and proud of you for being big and strong and the other part of me is so sad that you're not a tiny little baby anymore.  I never knew being a parent would mean I constantly felt so conflicted about the passage of time.  Everyone tells you to enjoy it because it goes so fast and I knew it would.  I really try to soak up every second I have with you.  I hold you a little longer than necessary, rock you a little longer, give you way more kisses than you want and just breathe you in as much as I can.  I'm constantly telling myself to stop and remember this moment.  Savor it, it won't last.  And then I cry.  Now I know why parents always say that their kids are always babies to them.  Because having a tiny baby is the most amazing thing in the world.  But I know there are so many more amazing stages in your life.  Every day with you keeps getting better.  I know you have to grow up and I'm ok with that...just don't do it too fast, ok?

Likes:
- being outside
- watching the dogs play
- talking
- the Baby Bjorn
- listening to daddy play the guitar
- naps in your swing
- the changing table
- eating your fingers
- Sophie the giraffe
- Jacques the peacock
- rolling
- standing
- kicking
- busting out of your pajamas
- looking at yourself in the mirror
- eating in the middle of the night

Dislikes:
- eating during the day
- the stroller
- baths
- socks
- sleeping on your back
- being hungry
- hot milk
- cold milk
- other babies crying
- smiling for photos