Damn. I know it’s only Day 2, but this whole
blogging every day for a month thing is HARD.
Today’s topic (as chosen by the lovely Jenni
from The Story of My Life) is:
Yikes.
“Educate us on something you know a lot about or
are good at.”
I've been thinking about this for a while and have to say that I don’t really feel
qualified to teach you all about anything because I don’t really know that much
about anything myself. I mean, in this
world of Pinterest tutorials on everything from how to clean your iron, to how
to wrap gifts with fabric scraps, to how to paint Hello Kitty on your
fingernails, I’m just not sure what else I can contribute. Those are some serious skills that everyone
should know. How could I possibly
compete?
However,
I know I’m not completely lacking in know-how.
I have SKILLZ too! Somewhere. So I put together a list of things I felt
qualified to teach you about.
- How to get your baby to NOT sleep through the night
- How to function at work on 4 hours of sleep and 82 cups of coffee
- How to suck at housework
- How to get ridiculously (and embarrassingly) addicted to Candy Crush Saga
- How to keep on all the baby weight 1 year + after the baby
- How to order take-out like a boss
- How to lose your sunglasses, keys and phone at least three times a day
- How to spend hours on Pinterest while drinking an entire bottle of wine (a/k/a multi-tasking)
- How to spend hundreds of dollars at the grocery store to still not have anything to eat
- How to live covered head-to-toe in dog hair
- How to pair yoga pants with everything in your closet
- How to not murder your husband as he sleeps while the baby screams in the other room
- How to sing ridiculous songs in your “baby voice” and clap for hours and hours on end
- How to spend your entire paycheck at J. Crew
- How to balance a martini glass in one hand and a baby in the other
- How to watch nine straight hours of Vampire Diaries and not feel bad about it
- How to eat your weight in S'mores
- How to whine, bitch and moan enough to get your husband to make dinner or take out the trash
- How to find the answer to anything
- How to cuss like a sailor in pearls and high heels
So
dear readers, which would you like me to blog about? Which of these tutorials would help you the
most? I think they’re all pretty worthy
topics and I’d love to share my expertise.
If
you had to “teach” someone something, what would it be?
I love you. I am laughing so hard. How about we discuss J Crew? And I've seen you handle a baby and booze in both hands, you are pretty badass at that.
ReplyDeleteOh, and next visit? S'mores by the firepit. DONE.
OMG! This is great! I'm also having a hard time figuring out what today's post will be about. I don't feel qualified to teach anyone anything, but there were several in your list that made me go "YES! I CAN TEACH THAT, TOO!!"
ReplyDeleteWay to go, Momma!! :)
3,5,7,9,10 & 11 all pertain to my life right now! Thank you, I needed that laugh today! Glad we are in the same boat!
ReplyDeleteThis list just makes me love you more.
ReplyDeleteI love all of these..but that # 12....that one, I can totally understand but could probably use a bit more "teaching" on. Let's face it...it's hard NOT to strangle them!
ReplyDelete#2, 6, 7, 16 and 20! Yep!
ReplyDeletehahaha love all of these! Especially 15, 16, and 20!
ReplyDeleteCandy Crush is the bane of my existence......
ReplyDeleteOh girl. I echo #7-#11 (seriously, yoga pants, how i love thee) , and can play with my neighbors kids while drinking wine out of a solo cup like a true class act. I swear like a sailor as well - but have managed not to teach said neighbor kids anything worse than "sucks" .... yet ....
ReplyDeleteI love your multitasking definition. I knew there was a reason we got along so well!
ReplyDeleteSo glad I started following your blog after your BF diaries post! This cracked me up! I like #9 the best :)
ReplyDeleteI'd say all of these are pretty relevant, go ahead and skill us in them all :)
ReplyDeleteThese are all awesome and I think any would be beneficial to learn about! Number 15 sounds extremely impressive!
ReplyDeleteLove this list, love you! You're awesome. Also, you could teach any number of totally amazing things. Plan a GORGEOUS wedding, take great photographs, build awesome shit from wood like a boss - the list goes on and on.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha I am pretty good at all of these too and I don't even have a baby yet. Candy crush is so sadly addicting I'm so mad I ever downloaded it. Now I'm seriously craving smores- I might make my husband go get me some
ReplyDeleteThis post is by far my fave of all that I've read today! Made my night--I love it because you are SO real and SO you!!
ReplyDeleteAnd oh my goodness..just saw your nursery picture on the sidebar--that is something you can blog about! Decorating a rockin' nursery!
ReplyDeleteI'm a reader but I just don't comment. :-) I had my 3rd boy around the same time you had Mac. He will be 1 tomorrow and he is our last. sniff, sniff. I'm having such a hard time coming to terms with him turning 1 that I haven't done a single thing for his birthday. Poor 3rd child. Maybe if I don't acknowledge it, it won't happen?? Anyway, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. Hilarious!!! You win hands down for best mommy of the year!! I guarantee your child will be happier and healthier than all the "perfect" mommies' kids. :-)
ReplyDeleteBAHA! Yes. I can relate to every.single.one. Which ever you choose will be freaking amazing!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, you are hilarious! Let's be friends! Seriously. We are almost the same person! I'm really looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteLMAO... YES YES YES. But please, on a series note, teach me #2.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post! You are too funny! Thank you for your authenticity. I am so #3 and #9! And add to #9 "how to spend hundreds of dollars at Target on absolutely nothing you need." I'll be pinning your tutorials for sure!
ReplyDeleteHaha umm you are hands down my favorite blogger. Ever. Can I request that you review each and every one of these topics? Because I'm pretty sure I can relate to 99% of them!
ReplyDeleteI could teach you how to suck at consistently blogging, I'm pretty amazing at that ;)
you are awesome.
ReplyDeleteI've been stuck on the same level of Candy Crush for weeks now and after I had previously been moving through levels like a Candy Crush Queen- since getting stuck on the same level I've become concerned that maybe I had an aneurysm and my brain isn't working properly anymore. I'm considering googling to see how others have strategized to pass this level. Then I realize Candy Crush is taking over my life!:) Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteSwoon worthy post right there!!! I adore you and your outlook! Cheers to toting babies and a martini!!!
ReplyDeleteProbably how to scramble an egg. I make amazing scrambled eggs. I think all of your skills are amazing!
ReplyDelete