Our Secret Hideout

#popsecretforts

I'm sure this is just a normal part of parenting, but it seems like lately Mac and I are going through a rough patch.  I've mentioned this before, but Mac is really a daddy's boy.  The majority of the time, I'm absolutely fine with this.  No really.  I am beyond thrilled that Mac and Ryan are so close.  I personally think I hit the jackpot in the daddy department when I married Ryan because he is so good with the kids and is such an active participant in our family. But lately, Mac's attitude has gone above and beyond the normal "I prefer daddy" sentiment, to an "I ONLY want daddy" order.  And quite honestly, it hurts my feelings.

I know it probably sounds ridiculous that my two-year old can make me feel so hurt sometimes (because I know he doesn't really mean anything by it), but it seems to hit a nerve with me.  Aren't boys supposed to love and adore their mamas?  Am I doing something wrong?  His requests for daddy started out innocently enough, but as they increased in intensity and frequency, it started feeling personal.  Honestly, it goes straight to that spot deep down in my soul that wonders am I a good mom...do my kids like me...am I doing this right?

And I know that's all crazy.  He's a toddler.  It's just a phase.  And all that jazz.  Believe me, I know.  Being a parent is amazing, but it is oh so hard sometimes.  Especially because I will probably never know if I'm doing it right.  Well, I mean...unless he grows up to be a serial killer, then I can say I probably did something wrong.  But Mac and I constantly butt heads.  That child knows how to push my buttons like no one on earth.  My husband would say that this happens because Mac and I are so much alike (he is pretty awesome).  But this kid is so me it's scary.  We're both horribly stubborn and we never back down.  We both get our pride hurt very easily and have tendencies to lash out.  We're both slightly manipulative and know how to work the angles to get what we want.  We're strong willed and determined and smart.  It's quite amazing to see so much of yourself in someone so small.

I think the main reason for the "daddy fixation" has a lot to do with the addition of a new baby to the family (no Mim, I'm not blaming you per se, just your existence).  I'm sure it's been hard on Mac being displaced as the center of our universe and to not have all the attention on him.  For so many months, it was always mommy taking care of the baby while he spent time with daddy.  Our divided household was good for surviving the newborn stage, but I think the division of child labor has somewhat backfired and caused a split in our household.  

I can't say I really blame Mac for wanting to spend time with Ryan.  If I had a choice, I'd pick him too (oh wait, I did).  He's a lot of fun - they do cool "guy stuff" like get dirty, drive tractors, go hunting and shovel the snow.  How can I compete with that?  I probably can't.  However, I have come to the conclusion that Mac and I need to spend some one-on-one quality time together.  Just the two of us - no daddy, no baby. 

This weekend I wanted to take him somewhere fun...just the two of us.  Maybe the zoo or the Butterfly House or even just to the park. We used to do that kind of thing all the time, but it's gotten harder and harder to get away and I always feel guilty about not being with Mim.  But we were going to do it.  Then he got sick.  And Mim got sick.  And I thought it was a good time to shut down the milk factory (my boobs), so I'm in a lot of pain and no one really felt like leaving the house.  So, I tried to do the next best thing...building a secret hideout where the two of us could escape (#popsecretforts).

I told Mac on Friday night that I'd have a surprise for him in the morning.  I'm not sure he really knew what to expect, but that night I stayed up WAY past my bedtime and built a pillow fort on our landing. I brought up chairs and stuck in some mops for ceiling support.  I grabbed a bunch of pillows and blankets.  I stocked the fort with books and his stuffed animals and popcorn!  The next morning he was so excited to hang out in the fort with mommy.  

Since he wasn't feeling well, this was the perfect little escape for him.  It was somewhere he could rest and take it easy, but it still felt special and was something that we could do together.  We had our special popcorn snack for our movie, and I pulled out the iPad and we watched the episode of Daniel Tiger where Daniel is sick and they sing the "rest is best" song.  He sang it over and over again all day.  He even fake rested for me.

But the best part of the whole thing was just getting to spend some quality time with him.  Granted, I was being obnoxious and taking a bunch of photos, but he tolerated it for a few minutes before asking me to come lay next to him and watch the show - which I gladly did.  He is such a fun kid to be around these days.  His imagination is exploding and it's so amazing to watch the person he's going to be emerge from this tiny little boy.  You can already tell what an animal lover he is.  He made sure that Banga (aka Bambi) got some popcorn too.  He may not be able to share with Mim yet, but I think this shows that he's working on the concept and gets it. 

Despite his spitfire personality, he's still a lover.  

Our morning was pretty wonderful.  I think we both had fun and we got some good Mama-Mac quality bonding in.  We snuggled, sang songs, read books and talked about school.  He seemed like he was really having a great great, but the minute we walked out of the fort, he was already asking for daddy again. Seriously?!  C'est la vie.  

Anyone else a fan of pillow forts?  

What's your favorite secret hideout snack?
How do you "connect" with your toddler?

*Thanks to PopSecret for sponsoring today's post and encouraging us to build a super cool pillow fort.  All opinions, drama/emotions and shoddy fort building skills are 100% my own.

**PopSecret is encouraging you to submit photos of your pillow fort to their Facebook page.  You can also download a $1 off coupon for the popcorn flavor of your choice!