Mac Says

Me and Mac singing: "Head shoulders, knees and toes. Eyes and ears and mouth and nose..."
Mac: "And butt.  And pee pee."

Mac playing on Ryan's phone...
Siri: Hello.
Mac: Hello, I'm Mac.  I have a guitar.  And a pick!

Me: Do you want to go to the grocery store with me today?
Mac: No, I'm going stay here with daddy.
Me: If you go with me, you can get a cookie.
Mac: No.  How about you bring me one home.

Me (in the bath): Mac, make sure you wash under your arms.
Mac: Yep, gotta wash my armpickles.

Mac: I'm going to play "The Mad Song" on the guitar.
Me: Oh, I've never heard that song.
Mac (strumming angrily and scowling): MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.
Me: That's pretty intense.
Mac: This is the sad song.
Me: Ok.
Mac (strumming very gently and fake weeping): Sad, sad, sad.  I'm soooooo sad.

Me: How was school today?
Mac: I cried a little bit. (every single time you ask him)
Me: Well, did you have fun?
Mac: No, I had a cookie.

Me: Mac, please stop jumping on the furniture.
Mac: It's not furniture, it's a chair.

Me: Mac, can you help Mally?  I'm bathing Mim and can't get to her.
Mac (after helping the dog): I did it!  I helped!  I saved the day!  You should give me some chocolate.

Me: Mac, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Mac: The boss.
Me: The boss of what?
Mac: You.  And Mr. Schuey. (our turtle)

Me: What do you want to take to Papa's house this weekend?
Mac: Just everything I need.  And a ball.

Mac (to Jigs, our cat): Jigs, you are so beautiful.
Me: She is.  Is she purring?  That means she loves you.
Mac: She loves me very much.
Me: Is Jigs your favorite cat?
Mac: No, Papa is.

Me: Mac, eat your chicken.
Mac: No, I want a cupcake.
Me: No, you need to eat your chicken.
Mac: No, I need to eat a cupcake.

Me (under a blanket with Mac and Jigs): Look, Jigs is in the tent with us.
Jigs half exits the tent so she can breathe.
Me: Oh nevermind, she's leaving.
Mac: She took her face, but she left her butt!

Mac (as we were driving home from the farm): Are we almost home?
Me: Not yet, but we are close to my office. Do you want to see where mommy works?
Mac: I do!
Me:  Ok, look out your window, it's right there.
Mac: That's not the pet store!!

Mac (crying, as I'm leaving him at nursery school dropoff): Mama, saying goodbye is so very hard.
Me (also now crying): Yes, it is.

Me: Did you know that "Mac" is your nickname?
Mac: Like Nick from school?
Me: No, Nick from school's real name is Nick. Your real name is C***, your nickname is "Mac."
Mac: Like Nick from school?
Me: No, a nickname is different than your real name. Your real name is C***, your nickname is "Mac."
Mac: Like Nick from school?
Me: Sure.

Me: Mac, you're going to bed in two minutes.
Mac: Three minutes.
Me: Two minutes.
Mac: Four minutes.
Me: Two minutes.
Mac: A lot more minutes.
Me: Thirty seconds.
Mac: Whoa.
Mac: How about five minutes?

Mac (scribbling on a notepad with a pen): I'm making a list.
Me: Oh yeah, what kind of list.
Mac: Grocery list.
Me: What's on your list?
Mac: Cupcakes, cookies and gummy bears.
Me: That's a good list.
Mac: I know.

Me: What do you want for dinner?
Mac: Chicken nuggets and applesauce and pancakes and eggs and fruit and burger and grilled cheese and quesadilla and blueberries and yogurt and steak.
Me: Whoa.
Mac: That's a lot.
Me: Yeah, are you going to eat any of those things?
Mac: No.  How about a cookie?

Mac (as we're getting ready for bed): Tell me a story.  A good one.  About goats.

Mac (giving me a hug): Mama, you smell really good.  Like pasta.

Mac (to me while Mim's crying): Let's go outside.  Leave Mim here.  She's in a mood today.

Baskethoop = Basketball
What You Said? = What did you say?
Too = Both
Slogs/Snore = S'mores
Bottoman = Ottoman