Mac & Mim Sibling Update

They were the best of friends...they were the worst of friends...

It's been about a year since I've done a sibling update on these two little humans of mine (which you can read here) and a lot has changed (although a lot has stayed the same), so I think it's about time for another update. Let me start by saying, for good or for bad, it has been an absolute joy watching their relationship grow over this past year. Siblinghood has it's challenges, disappointments and battles, but these two wild hooligans have also become partners in crime, co-conspirators and each other's biggest fan. For every toy shared, there's one that's snatched away leading to tears and hysterics. For every hug given, there's a sucker punch that quickly follows. Life is full of give and take - siblinghood is no different. They keep me on my toes, keep each other entertained and cometitive and I think they'll both come to realize how truly blessed they are to have each other in their lives. Or...maybe they'll just hate each other - it's a toss-up. 

Let's start with the good, shall we? During the best of times, these two are everything to each other. Mac loves his little sister and is incredibly protective and possessive of her. Mim looks at Mac like he hung the moon and wants to do absolutely everything he does, in just the same manner. Mac tells me all the time that when he's at school he misses her. He gets incredibly jealous and hates it when she wants to play with anyone but him. Mim swoons when Mac asks her to play and she's pretty much willing to give him absolutely anything he wants if he asks her in that sweet voice of his. He's the first thing on her mind every morning and she asks me where Mac is when I get her out of her crib. When he's at school, she wants to wear his clothes, read books in his bed and can't wait to go pick him up. 

Mac loves being the big brother and loves helping/showing Mim how to do things, from casting a fishing pole to riding a scooter. He helps her pick out clothes in the morning, put on her shoes, turn on her ipad, reach her snacks, pick out her jammies and eat any sweets she gets. He loves showing her his bug finds, pulling her around in the wagon and playing hide and seek with her. He relishes in giving her directions, bossing her around and making her fetch him things. Most of the time, she's happy to oblige and soaks up .any attention he pours on her. He's recently discovered that since she's the baby and the "easy" kid, she basically gets whatever she wants, so he's taught her to ask for dessert on his behalf and beg for suckers anytime he wants one. If he wants to do something that we said no to, all he has to do is get her on his side to ask and he knows we'll eventually cave. He's brilliant and diabolical. She's a not-so-innocent accomplice. 

Things they both love: being outside, screaming, their grandparents, Go Karts, ice cream, swimming, reading books, singing, mud, trampolines, ponies/goats. sweets, painting, Superman, the hose, fishing, arcades, Daddy, sandboxes, bowling, washing dishes, puddle jumping and baseball.

Things they disagree on: snuggling, naps, TV shows, eating, worm digging, iPad games, baths, photo taking, sunglasses, rainstorms, loud noises, camouflage, hiking, Frosted Flakes, the importance of tooth-brushing and long car ride entertainment.

Oh, but believe me, not everything is rainbows and sunshine with these two. While they might seem like two peas in a pod, they couldn't be more different. Mac is still my intense, aggressive, energetic, 100 mph, go-get-em wild-child. And Mim is the opposite. She's my laid-back, easy-going, la-dee-da, go with the flow, easy-breezy second child. He's all me and she's all Ryan. As a first child, I relate and understand so much of what Mac is feeling and experiencing. I was that first born, over-achiever, extremely conscientious, controlling and intense kid. My intensity came out in a different way (mainly reading), while his is focused on outdoor activities and sports, but we're so much alike. And as the second child (and baby of the family), my husband and Mim are incredibly similar. They're both very musical, social and easy-going. They're peace-makers, fun-loving and uncomplicated. It's no wonder that Mac and I butt heads constantly (since we're so much alike), whereas Mim and I get along famously. Ryan gets along great with both kids (because he's just that easy-going) and he can deal with Mac above and beyond my capacity (probably because he's had so much experience dealing with me). 

The biggest issue between these two is still jealousy - that hasn't changed. Mac is a total daddy's boy and I don't ever see that changing. Those two have a very special bond that I love, respect and don't ever want to jeopardize. Ryan's intense travel schedule over the past year has been both good and bad for our family, but especially hard on Mac. During the week while Ryan's in Alabama, things are pretty normal and low-key for me and the kids. Sometimes, I selfishly think it's nice having the kids all to myself during the weeks when Ryan travels because I love spending that time with them. They're usually pretty good for me and get along with each other exceptionally well. We do special date night dinners out, go out for frozen yogurt, hit up a local park or try to do something extra fun to pass the time. It never makes up for daddy being gone, but it helps us all get through the week a little easier and maybe makes mommy seem like a tiny bit more fun. When Ryan comes home, it becomes a competition between the kids as to who can get the most attention from him, which always causes fights and acting out. They both love their dad so much (which is fantastic), but it's incredibly hard to share him. They both spend the transition period (whether that's days, hours or minutes) fighting over who gets his attention, affection and energy. Mac usually wins because he's just way more intense about everything than Mim. I'm basically chopped liver, so unless I'm in full-on tears and sobs, no one's really concerned about getting my attention. Thus is the life of the default parent, I guess. 

But we're hanging in there. Having that time with the kids to myself during the week has made my relationship with them stronger. It also makes us appreciate daddy being home that much more and we try really hard to take advantage of weekend family time to do fun stuff. Since Mac went back to school a few month ago and Ryan's travel schedule has died down a bit, I can't even begin to tell you how much better things have gotten between these two at home. I think both kids having a few hours a day to themselves to do their own thing has made a huge difference at home. It's adorable that they both talk about how much they miss each other in those 3 long hours apart and they are so incredibly excited to be reunited at the end of the school day that they can't stop hugging. It's really adorable. 

As Mim gets older and becomes even much more active and interactive, Mac has slowly realized how much fun she can be to have around. He loves it when she laughs at his jokes, burps/toots in his presence and gets in trouble instead of him. He eggs her on to jump off furniture, scream at dinner, splash in the bathtub and she basks in the glory. She doesn't care one bit that she gets in trouble and he's just thrilled that she did it and he's not in trouble. They are brilliant little co-conspirators working against Ryan and I and getting better at it by the day. And while it drives me nuts, I hope their relationship only gets stronger over the years and they continue to work together to drive me insane. These two have the potential to be the best of friends and I hope with all my heart that they always have each other's back and hug fiercely when reunited.

Me: What did you do at school today?
Mac: I don't remember.
Me: Did you have fun?
Mac: It was ok.
Me: What would have made it better?
Mac: If Mim was there too. She would have really liked snack today.
Me: Awwww! That's so sweet! What did you have for snack that she'd like?
Mac: I don't know. Food. Mim loves food.

Mac: Mim's not being nice.
Me: What did she do?
Mac: She won't give me her sucker.
Me: That's her sucker. She doesn't have to give it to you.
Mac: If she was nice she would share it with me.
Me: Did you share your sucker with her?
Mac: No, but I'm a bad guy. Bad guys don't share. 
Me: What if Mim wants to be a bad guy too and not share?
Mac: She laughs too much to be a bad guy. She needs to growl more. 

Mac: Hey Mim! Do you want to play a game?
Mim: Ok!
Mac: Go ask mommy for a popsicle and then bring it to me and I'll eat it.
Mim: Ok! 

(while playing a flight simulation game)
Ryan: You get points for safe landings and flying through the targets.
Mac: I know.
Ryan: What are you doing?
Mac: Going to the lighthouse.
Ryan: You can't land on the lighthouse.
Mac: I know. I'm not going to land the plane...I'm going to crash into the lighthouse and blow it up.
Ryan: Oh. Okay. That's not very nice.
Mac: Mim! Come watch this! You're going to love it!

Me: You're such a good girl.
Mim: No I not!
Me: You're not? Are you a bad girl?
Mim: No.
Me: Are you a smart girl?
Mim: No, I not.
Me: Are you a sweet girl?
Mim: No, I not.
Me: Are you a pretty girl?
Mim: NO.
Me: Well, what are you?
Mim: I a giraffe!
Me: Oh, a giraffe. And what's Mac?
Mim: Bad.

#macandmim in a nutshell

What's your kids' relationship like with their siblings?